1909 Tyee
Elections are in the air! With a new Presidential election gearing up, the evening news is portraying an ever more polarized nation, with varying degrees of logic thrown into the mix occasionally to balance out the idealism and rhetoric. Teenagers are beginning to express those same polarized positions, and some question just how much teens understand – or care – about politics.
If you have teenagers still at home, you have a golden opportunity to guide your teen through the experience of learning how politics in this country works, and doesn’t. Your teen may claim not to care one way or the other, and you then can find ways to engage him or her in a discussion of the issues facing our nation.
A few years ago, I was privy to a fascinating conversation between two teenagers, where each took an opposite position on who should win the Presidential election. While each teen expressed their opinions clearly, neither one seemed to have a grasp of any factual basis for their strong feelings. It was easy to imagine them overhearing their parents’ discussions during evening newscasts and then taking a strong stand, not realizing that their opinions were just that – opinions.
How to guide your teen’s understanding of politics.
No matter how many times your teenager rolls his eyes and ignores what you say, he really is paying attention. Just as you watched your words when your child was first learning language, now you must watch your words and practice being a mindful parent as you help guide your teenager into a age-appropriate thinking understanding of the political issues facing our nation.
What the heck does that mean?
I am quite certain that if you bring out the economics textbook you had back in college or try to describe the workings of the House of Representatives, your teenager will find an urgent need to rake up the leaves on the front lawn. If you find yourself expressing strong opinions about the current politicians or potential ones, your teen will learn mindless rhetoric. And if you believe that the issues don’t really affect your teenager or you don’t believe in “the system” enough to discuss it with your child, you are doing both of you a great disservice.
Remember, until your child is grown and gone, your primary task as a parent is to prepare him or her to live successfully as an adult. That role of teacher, mentor, example, and guide, is absolutely vital to your teen’s development. Don’t give up on your primary job, even when it involves searching for ways to guide your teen’s understanding of the political issues facing our nation.
Questions to ask your teen about political issues.
Here’s how this can play out in the real world.
Rather than voicing your disgust for the gridlock that seems to often grip the states’ representatives, ask your teen questions. Ask what they would suggest if two groups of adults are unable to reach a compromise. Their answers may surprise you.
Rather than expressing your opinion of whether or not a particular politician has done a good job, ask your teen. They may have an opinion that is not based in fact. Choose just one issue with one politician, and guide your teen through discovering what it means to support a person in politics who is human, handicapped frequently by the marvelous checks and balance system designed to protect the American people, and varying degrees of personal integrity.
Use news of politics as a starting point for conversations with your teenager, not as a platform to making pronouncements that your teen may well repeat without thought.
If you have family friends who hold different political views than you do, model gentle willingness to allow for disagreement. It is amazing how often folks forget that both ends of the political spectrum are filled with intelligent people. Your teen will copy your gentleness, or your contempt.
If you are serious about raising a teenager to adulthood with a compassionate willingness to support others who think and believe differently than he does, make certain that your example is giving that same message!
Is there a difference between being opinionated and being an activist? When do activists go too far? When is compromise appropriate and when is it not okay? What issues are deal breakers for you? Chances are very good they are not the same issues that matter to your teenager. Get to know the political issues that impact your teenager at his school. Get your teen involved in the political experience of your neighborhood, your town. Use politics as a starting point for conversations, not as a soap box from which to make sweeping statements.
Finally, if your teen forms political opinions that are different than yours, celebrate! He is learning to think for himself. Remember that yours is not the only voice trying to get your teenager’s attention about politics. Be mindful, be intentional, be insistent about helping your teenager to form their own opinion and take their own stand on important issues rather than just becoming a follower of a popular position.
Today’s teenager will become tomorrow’s voting adult. Part of your job as the parent of a teenager is to help guide him into being a thinking person – one able to evaluate issues, give grace to human-ness, become more than a voice of criticism, willing to participate in creating something better.
Your turn:
How have you asked your teenager questions about politics? Do you struggle not to be overly critical of current or potential politicians in your teen’s presence? Does your teen say he doesn’t care? How have you involved yourself and your teenager in local politics as a way to guide your teen’s understanding of the process? We learn from each other – share your experiences here!
Ronae, this is great information. I struggled for the past few years while my still-too-young-to-vote son expressed his disdain for the whole political system, and his total lack of interest in voting. Now that he is actually old enough to vote, I have seen the efforts of our political discussions actually did sink in and he does want to vote now. Do we agree on all the issues? No, but that’s OK. As long as he’s educating himself and making his own choices, I can’t ask for any more.
Cheree, Super kudos to you for persisting in those conversations with your son during the years when you didn’t get any positive feedback! We parents sometimes forget that we can still be the most persistent and important voice our teens hear, even when all their messages to us are saying that they don’t!
~RJ
I think the sooner we encourage our kids to learn about politics, the sooner they can try to make a difference in the world. They MUST vote, and get involved, for thing to change, hopefully for the better. Both my children (10 and 12) have been class president and sat on the school council. The school council appointment allows them to meet with the Board of Governors, and to talk to them about school issues. I think that’s a brilliant opportunity – for the kids, and the school!
What a marvelous way to help your kids understand political issues! Its never too early to begin those conversations, helping kids grow into teens and young adults who are willing to stand up and get involved rather than just sit on the sidelines criticizing!
~RJ
What great advise especially when you say celebrate if their opinion differs from yours. Means they can think.
Although my kids are too young to discuss politics, I like your advice about open communication, encouraging them to have their own views, and not being a zealot about things. Creating this atmosphere when discussing any topic seems like good advice to me. I’m actually glad I don’t have to talk politics with them yet, I’m not sure I could say anything positive about anyone these days . . .!
Its so important to educate our kids on whats going on in the world beyond their circle and help them understand how political issues affect them.
Beau, so true! Seems many parents forget this, or simply get tired and hope their kids somehow understand whats happening in the larger world without having to intentionally address the important issues. Lets hope more parents step up and be intentional about guiding their kids – because if they don’t, someone else will!
~RJ
Thanks for sharing this. I don’t have children yet, but this is yet another one of those topics to look forward to.
Having both teens and young adults at home, we do spend quite a bit of time discussing current events, including national, regional and local politics. As we discuss issues for upcoming elections, we include our teens in those discussions and allow them to learn about the issues, voice their opinions and then learn why we are voting the way we do. We have found that not making any subject off limits is helping them to learn to think through issues and both listen and discuss issues calmly and respectfully.
Marie, I am encouraged by your experience! Having a habit of open respectful discussions provides a priceless foundation for teenagers and young adults. Thank you for sharing.
~RJ
Great article! I don’t have teens anymore ~ they grow up to be adults, ya know
But we did talk about these things when they were that age and that has continued as they graduated from college and families of their own. Keep up the good work!
Such a great advice and guidance in regards to such a difficult subject as politics, it is great to build an open attitude towards different opinions…this is truly valuable article. Thanks for sharing Ronae!
Solvita, welcome and thank you for your comment. Parents who are passionate about helping their children grow into (emotionally, mentally, politically…) active adults can sure make an impact by providing an atmosphere of exploration and discussion! I hope you return often.
~RJ
I think it’s important to guide them without pushing your own personal beliefs and opinions on them.
Explain the importance and then allow them to form their own opinion.
Ah Max, you bring up an essential element of these guiding discussions with teens about political issues! Its always a tough balancing act, but SO important!
~RJ
I love how you’ve encouraged parents to celebrate when their teen thinks for themselves and forms an opinion that is different from theirs!
Thank you Peggy. Sometimes we parents need a gentle reminder about that one!
~RJ
This is a great article! We should talk to teens about everything, not only personal stuff. They need to hear it from the parents. Who knows what they hear from the outside. Talking will bring everyone closer together. And that is a good thing! Thank you for sharing!
Great points made here! We all should be talking to the kids it really does make a difference.
Very interesting post. One thing that we do in our home is discuss not only their personal issues but also current events. We are not ignorant to the fact that they hear sound bites of the news and can form their own decisions. It’s great listening to their reasoning and explaining ours with them. Open discussion time is very popular in our home…they never have to worry about having a different opinion than ours…it’s great!:)
Dr. Daisy, thank you for your comment, and kudos to you for creating an atmosphere of open communication, even (perhaps especially) about emotionally charged current events and politics!
~RJ